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Recap of Weeks 4-5

Match Recap 2022 Weeks 4–5: Massive Results for a Massive Club

Riding the strong results these past few weeks, we enter the midway point of both Christos campaigns. Both the men’s and women’s teams are holding strong in their respective divisions.

The men sit in first place, with a valuable away draw as their only dropped points so far. The women, not as lucky, are still second place with an important revenge match on the cards. A strong showing for a club, who this time last year, had a men’s team in NPSL and a nonexistent women’s team.

Upcoming for Christos men’s team was a home match against Fredericksburg club Commonwealth Cardinals FC. Since the May 11 match was postponed to July 9, this was the first time the two sides squared off against each other. A new rivalry was being born. Whether it arises from geography, results, or some resurgent form of sectarianism, we welcome the banter between our supporters and their “supporters”.

Alleged sightings of Commonwealth Cardinals fans have occurred at Fredericksburg Field House, pictured above. Please note these sightings are not proven and could be fabrications designed to make the club feel more important.

While we love to have a rivalry, it seems the Cardinals club has other ideas. From a profile piece their owner did earlier this year, the club seems to be focused on Lionsbridge more than us. You know, the club sponsored by a hate group. They even mentioned DC United reserve team as a possible rival as well.

Sounded like somebody was a little scared to face our favorite pub team.

And scared they were. When the match started, Christos took it upon themselves to make this matchup a rivalry, even if their visiting rivals would not. When Christos first scored, we thought Commonwealth would care enough to play more disciplined and force some mistakes. Then Christos would score again. And again. And again. And again.

Christos led by five at halftime. Five goals from three different goal scorers. The only thing we were worried about was having to buy more smoke. Factoring in how strong our guys were in NPSL last year, we thought a slight increase in smoke would be more than enough. Guess we were wrong. Glad we were wrong. Following Christos would not be as much fun if we were right about things like these.

The match finished as a 7–0 win. The “cool” soccer brand with their fancy TikTok account, their branding that mixes pro ambitions with a pretentious idea of what a soccer club should look like, and interviews with buzzwords such as “community” and “local” and “identity”, did not hold up against the more seasoned footballers in their field.

Not much you can expect from a group whose only point on the season came from a scoreless draw called early.

With the men not scheduled to play for another week, Saturday was all about the women’s team. While the men’s performance was not likely to be matched, we had high expectations for what the women could do. They were up against McLean Soccer, looking for revenge after a tough loss a week and a half prior.

Before the match, we thought it was the perfect time for revenge. A tough loss away, after a late rally, against a team that is still trailing Christos in the standings. A statement win at home would be the thing the women’s team needed. The thing to get their season back on track and at the level of the men.

An ideal example of revenge expected for the Christos vs. McLean women’s soccer match.

Expectations aside, McLean had other ideas.

While the weather was pleasant, the match was not. As if nothing changed, McLean took an early lead. Then, by halftime, they had a 3–0 lead. Whenever Christos looked threatening, they were not. Whenever McLean looked threatening, they were. Simple as that. It could have been the inverse of the men’s match if the women were not careful.

It was such a nice day to watch such a one-sided soccer match. Especially when the one side is not your side. The match finished 4–0 to the visitors. While this hurts their playoff chances, the women still have a decent shot of turning it around. Just need to wait for their next match before really panicking.

We are still waiting for that next match, by the way. There was a doubleheader scheduled for the following Wednesday. Against NOVA FC of course. The only home doubleheader of the year and a must win for both the men and women. The women needed it more, though. Something to get their season back on track.

To promote the match, we made a promo with both Mr. Boh and the Utz Girl. We gave her a green bow. Green makeup. Black Christos kit. She was ready to prove her worth as a pro soccer player.

And the women were looking sharp. They took a 3–0 lead 15 minutes into the match. If it were not for the incoming pair of thunderstorms, they would likely have those three points. Instead, they must start over, and hope NOVA is just as unprepared again.

Utz Girl, left and Mr. Bohemian, right, pictured together during a promotional shoot for the only Christos doubleheader of the season.

The only other match last week was the men’s Saturday night clash against Virginia Beach United. The first time of only two meeting this season where we get to see hoe they fare against some strong competition. Not to be confused with Virginia Beach City, of course, who play in the old NPSL division.

It is easy to get them confused. They are both mediocre, use a dark blue primary kit, and have a history at the Virginia Beach Sportsplex. If anything, they could be the same group of guys playing between both leagues. Names are tough to remember at this level, so they could be playing in a different league, using the same logo with a fake moustache to lower suspicion.

Logo for Virginia Beach United. While we have both theirs and Virginia beach City’s logo saved next to each other in the same file, we believe this is the right one.

At a normal 7pm kickoff time, we got some nicer weather again. Having that weather delay messed with our heads. We were lucky at Essex to not have a lot of weather delays. This year feels different. Maybe it is more matches correlating with a higher chance of getting caught in a thunderstorm. Maybe Glen Burnie is just an easy place to get caught in the rain.

Nevertheless, this match went on as planned.

Christos did that thing we like. You know, where, after a large win, they pick up where they left off. The seven-goal win from the week before did not seem like an outlier. If anything, it started seeming like the norm. The Christos standard we all come to love.

It was a 3–0 lead at halftime. Three different goal scorers. In true Christos fashion, each goal was as impressive as the next. When the match started to slow down, a goal would go through. Like clockwork, Christos scored right before it looked like United were going to establish themselves and control possession.

It was 6–0 at full time. Six different goal scorers. Each one as impressive as the next. We wish we could say the same thing about the midweek match, but that is something we hope to see another time. And by that, we mean this season, of course.

Both Christos men’s and women’s teams are in strong shape heading into the second half of the season. Next week, a doubleheader midweek at Patuxent followed by a makeup match for the women against NOVA FC. Big points on the line. Do not want to let anything go to waste.

And, as always, hope to see you there.

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